I love that God is not in a hurry and all He has is time. Out of all people, God invests in me and has a wonderful master plan that only He knows. Not only does God have the whole outline of my life, He specifically holds each season of my life in His hands. My women's group is currently going through a study on the book of Jonah that focuses on the "Interrupted Life." We all have interruptions in our lives - a job loss, still being single, an unexpected car repair, a nasty spring cold - anything that throws our life plans completely off the course we set. One particularly interesting point that has completely captured me is the question of "Am I fully engaging in the season in which God has me?"
So often I find myself viewing my current season of life as a form of purgatory; I'm past the young college fun phase, and yet I'm not in the next logical season of marriage. Nearly every day is filled with one activity or another that keeps me quite busy, whether it's a group activity, coffee dates with girlfriends, or running workouts. Amidst the flurry of activities that I find myself in, I want to follow God and His plan for my time and energy. I want His purpose to be my purpose and His desires to be my desires. Over the last few months I feel like God has been prompting my heart to pursue intentional relationships with several girls to teach us all about Him and what it means to serve and love Him by serving and loving others. I do my best to take advantage of opportunities to encourage my girls and to become involved in their lives. And yet, something still seems to be missing; I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
While running errands the other day, God brought to me the idea that no matter the season, I'm still going to be waiting for something else. Right now, I'm waiting for God to bring me to the man I will marry. After that, I may be waiting for a house; and then a child; and then a bigger vehicle; and then... well, you get the point. Although I had been believing that once my current life's interruption of being single has been remedied by getting married, God clearly told me that there will be another interruption in that season, something else that I would be waiting on. The part that scared me is that this is the season of life that God purposefully put me in, yet it is this season that I'm essentially wishing away until the next season arrives.
Recently God used a friend to show me that He will always provide what we need, not necessarily what we want. In the past, I've struggled with emotions of jealousy and envy toward this friend because I felt like she was getting everything she wanted without having to work for it at all (most of which I wanted just as badly as she). Something about it just didn't seem fair. After talking with her, however, I don't know how deep-down joyful or how really happy she is even with all these things. In contrast, God hasn't given me any of those things, yet has provided me with a wonderful church, more friends than I know what to do with, a better job, and goals that I never would have imagined having and attaining. I realized that for the first time in quite awhile, I really like me - I really like the woman God has been molding me into and the heart motivation that He's slowly instilling in me.
If this is where God has me, then I can be confident that this is where He wants me. As such, I want to fully engage in this season and not wish it away, waiting for the next season. I love how God is working in my life and am so blessed to be called His daughter.
Lord, wherever you want me to be is where I want be; please help me to complete the work and learn the lessons in this season, and to heed Your voice in all I do.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Radical Giving
Currently I'm reading "Radical" by David Platt and the basic gist of the book is that the American Dream is completely unbiblical and American Christians are missing out on a lot of blessings because we're so wrapped up in our stuff. At first glance, I thought that this would be an interesting read, but it's given me so much more to think about than I anticipated.
Anyone in a third world country (or the inter-streets of Anytown, USA) would think I'm wealthy. I have my own apartment, car, food in the pantry, clothes for all different occasions, money to pay my bills and some spending money. Yet, just the other day, I was thinking about how I can maybe find a part-time job at gym or coffee shop so that I can make some "extra" money. That's when I realized that I was starting to follow after the American Dream instead of following after God. God doesn't care about extra spending money for me, but rather cares about my generous heart (or lack thereof). Each day, we as Americans are constantly bombarded with what we "need" to be accepted in our society. I can't seem to shake the feeling, however, that we're missing the bigger picture of what we really need.
When the rich young ruler asked Jesus what he must do to enter the kingdom of God, Jesus didn't tell him, "You need to downgrade from a 52" plasma screen to a 32" and trade in your Hummer for a Hybrid." Not even close. Instead, Jesus told him to sell all of his possessions. It was a bold move, but then again, Jesus was a bold guy who didn't mess around. He knew that stuff only competes with God for our hearts and God doesn't compete - He wins.
So I guess my challenge and question is what does this look like today? Where do you draw the line between being responsible and radical in faith? I'm having trouble imagining selling everything I own to follow Jesus' command of going to make disciples in all nations, but yet that's the task He left us Christians. What about a savings account and providing a life of stability? Or does this not matter when you consider the great calling of radically giving everything to share Jesus with people who have never heard of Him?
Anyone in a third world country (or the inter-streets of Anytown, USA) would think I'm wealthy. I have my own apartment, car, food in the pantry, clothes for all different occasions, money to pay my bills and some spending money. Yet, just the other day, I was thinking about how I can maybe find a part-time job at gym or coffee shop so that I can make some "extra" money. That's when I realized that I was starting to follow after the American Dream instead of following after God. God doesn't care about extra spending money for me, but rather cares about my generous heart (or lack thereof). Each day, we as Americans are constantly bombarded with what we "need" to be accepted in our society. I can't seem to shake the feeling, however, that we're missing the bigger picture of what we really need.
When the rich young ruler asked Jesus what he must do to enter the kingdom of God, Jesus didn't tell him, "You need to downgrade from a 52" plasma screen to a 32" and trade in your Hummer for a Hybrid." Not even close. Instead, Jesus told him to sell all of his possessions. It was a bold move, but then again, Jesus was a bold guy who didn't mess around. He knew that stuff only competes with God for our hearts and God doesn't compete - He wins.
So I guess my challenge and question is what does this look like today? Where do you draw the line between being responsible and radical in faith? I'm having trouble imagining selling everything I own to follow Jesus' command of going to make disciples in all nations, but yet that's the task He left us Christians. What about a savings account and providing a life of stability? Or does this not matter when you consider the great calling of radically giving everything to share Jesus with people who have never heard of Him?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
View of Life
Although I have been still reading and working on my goal of 42 books in 2010, I will most likely not meet this goal. Life has been happening and in the grand scheme of things, completing 42 books has taken the backseat. "What in life has been happening?" you ask. Well, I'm glad you did :)
This year began with my desire to accomplish things I never imagined possible. One area I had identified was my body and to take better physical care of myself. I'm smiling right now. Why? Because today I completed my second half marathon in 5 months. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be able to run for 13.1 miles without quitting. In December I will turn 24 and I'm currently in the best physical shape of my life. Since beginning to run in April, I've learned what it means to sweat; to hurt; to feel physical pain; to need water; to gasp for air. Along the way though, I've also learned what it means to push past your breaking point; to keep going even when it hurts; to feel an indescribable joy of accomplishment; to meet impossible goals; to never give up. A good friend showed me what it means to never leave you, even when they have the opportunity to advance themselves. Slowly I'm learning how to encourage others to set their goals high and use words and actions to help them along the way. My next goal is complete a marathon in 2011. I believe with all my heart it's possible.
Being a perfectionist, I don't handle being in second place very well. It's very hard for me to accept that some people beat me at things, and it's even more difficult when I have no control over it. God also showed me that His intentions are better than my own. My little sister got married on July 17th to the most perfect man for her. Hard as it was to watch her walk down the aisle, say her own vows and receive his, and have a brand new life bursting full of possibilities and opportunities, I'm so glad it was her first. My sister is wise beyond her years and cares about people more than anyone else I know. Every day I thank God for her and my new brother. Together they are constantly teaching me about love and life, and I could not have picked two people I'm more proud to call my siblings. They love each other and others; that's all you need in life and I'm so honored that God put them in mine.
Although I had been actively looking for a new job since January, I am no longer doing so. For reasons I don't entirely understand, my boss has decided to take a chance on me and is giving me an opportunity to do exactly what I've been hoping for, but never dreaming that she'd actually do. During this experience, I'm learning what it means to be honest, listen to people even when it hurts to hear their words, and to not back down just because a challenging situation presents itself. This opportunity has its share of obstacles, yet I'm ready for them. Just like God has prepared me in races to never give, I'm not giving up on this; rather, I'm stretching and training now for when it's time to begin.
Lastly, I'm learning how to like myself, both just as I am and for what I will become. Honestly, I get anxious both before and during family functions because I feel like a failure due to being the only single person, living in a small apartment, and not having a garden in my backyard to grow vegetables in to feed my husband. But that's something that is in God's hands and I'm in the process of understanding that a husband won't complete me. A house and backyard garden won't fill me. Until I really make peace with God in heart about that, I will still feel worthless. Not all is lost, however, because God is good and loves me. He is always faithful and has perfect timing - He is never early and is never late. While on a 2 hour drive yesterday, I was feeling a little down about making the drive alone instead of with a husband. I love how God has a way of showing up when we need Him most; He began to tell my heart to thank Him fo how He has blessed me. So I did. Thank you God for my health and strong legs. Thank you God for helping me complete races. Thank you God for my family: Dad, Mom, Elizabeth and Dennis. Thank you God for old friends. Thank you God for new friends. Thank you God for providing friends to come. Thank you God for my small yet cozy apartment. Thank you God for food in my pantry. Thank you God for my car. Thank you God for my job. Thank you God for money in my bank account. Thank you God for your love. Thank you God for your grace and mercy. Thank you God for your faithfulness and promises. Thank you God for liking me, just as I am. Looking at that brief list of only the highlights, God showed me that He loves me, will never fail me, and will always give me what I need.
Please don't get me wrong - I have my bad days just like the next girl. But I have love, adventure, determination, and passion for the impossible things in life. And I have a God who will never give up on me, but will bless me beyond my imagination when I keep my focus on Him. I am the lucky one.
This year began with my desire to accomplish things I never imagined possible. One area I had identified was my body and to take better physical care of myself. I'm smiling right now. Why? Because today I completed my second half marathon in 5 months. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be able to run for 13.1 miles without quitting. In December I will turn 24 and I'm currently in the best physical shape of my life. Since beginning to run in April, I've learned what it means to sweat; to hurt; to feel physical pain; to need water; to gasp for air. Along the way though, I've also learned what it means to push past your breaking point; to keep going even when it hurts; to feel an indescribable joy of accomplishment; to meet impossible goals; to never give up. A good friend showed me what it means to never leave you, even when they have the opportunity to advance themselves. Slowly I'm learning how to encourage others to set their goals high and use words and actions to help them along the way. My next goal is complete a marathon in 2011. I believe with all my heart it's possible.
Being a perfectionist, I don't handle being in second place very well. It's very hard for me to accept that some people beat me at things, and it's even more difficult when I have no control over it. God also showed me that His intentions are better than my own. My little sister got married on July 17th to the most perfect man for her. Hard as it was to watch her walk down the aisle, say her own vows and receive his, and have a brand new life bursting full of possibilities and opportunities, I'm so glad it was her first. My sister is wise beyond her years and cares about people more than anyone else I know. Every day I thank God for her and my new brother. Together they are constantly teaching me about love and life, and I could not have picked two people I'm more proud to call my siblings. They love each other and others; that's all you need in life and I'm so honored that God put them in mine.
Although I had been actively looking for a new job since January, I am no longer doing so. For reasons I don't entirely understand, my boss has decided to take a chance on me and is giving me an opportunity to do exactly what I've been hoping for, but never dreaming that she'd actually do. During this experience, I'm learning what it means to be honest, listen to people even when it hurts to hear their words, and to not back down just because a challenging situation presents itself. This opportunity has its share of obstacles, yet I'm ready for them. Just like God has prepared me in races to never give, I'm not giving up on this; rather, I'm stretching and training now for when it's time to begin.
Lastly, I'm learning how to like myself, both just as I am and for what I will become. Honestly, I get anxious both before and during family functions because I feel like a failure due to being the only single person, living in a small apartment, and not having a garden in my backyard to grow vegetables in to feed my husband. But that's something that is in God's hands and I'm in the process of understanding that a husband won't complete me. A house and backyard garden won't fill me. Until I really make peace with God in heart about that, I will still feel worthless. Not all is lost, however, because God is good and loves me. He is always faithful and has perfect timing - He is never early and is never late. While on a 2 hour drive yesterday, I was feeling a little down about making the drive alone instead of with a husband. I love how God has a way of showing up when we need Him most; He began to tell my heart to thank Him fo how He has blessed me. So I did. Thank you God for my health and strong legs. Thank you God for helping me complete races. Thank you God for my family: Dad, Mom, Elizabeth and Dennis. Thank you God for old friends. Thank you God for new friends. Thank you God for providing friends to come. Thank you God for my small yet cozy apartment. Thank you God for food in my pantry. Thank you God for my car. Thank you God for my job. Thank you God for money in my bank account. Thank you God for your love. Thank you God for your grace and mercy. Thank you God for your faithfulness and promises. Thank you God for liking me, just as I am. Looking at that brief list of only the highlights, God showed me that He loves me, will never fail me, and will always give me what I need.
Please don't get me wrong - I have my bad days just like the next girl. But I have love, adventure, determination, and passion for the impossible things in life. And I have a God who will never give up on me, but will bless me beyond my imagination when I keep my focus on Him. I am the lucky one.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
A Dating Story
Everyone has one of those friends who is a nice girl but just can’t seem to find anyone. People ask “Why is she single?” and you just aren’t quite sure what to tell them; she seems friendly, funny, smart and of course she’s attractive (why wouldn’t she be – you’re friends with her!). Although it took her a good year or so to really get over the only boy she’s loved, she is starting to hope that maybe God’s got Mr. Right out there somewhere.
It’s not as if she’s just waiting around for Prince Charming to come riding up to her door after searching the countryside far and wide. She accepts reasonable set-ups from her family, friends, co-workers and the like. A few months ago, she’s even signed up for a dating service. That’s when the story of life as a single lady becomes interesting (and you begin to hear Beyonce blaring from her apartment).
Welcome to My Life
My third book was “A Year of Blind Dates: a single girl’s search for ‘the one.’” It’s exactly like it sounds: Megan Carson is a single Christian lady in her late twenties who decides to sign up for the “World’s Best Dating Service” in hopes of meeting Mr. Right. She records her year of blind dates, both from the dating service and other set-ups from her social circle. Some of the dates were good, some were bad, and some made me laugh out loud (though at the time I’m pretty sure Megan wanted to escape through the nearest exit).
I’ve officially been putting my inspiration from “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” to work and this year so far have been doing things I never thought I could/would do. After completing the book and some encouragement from a friend who met her husband via eHarmony, I took a deep breath and signed up for 3 months of eHarmony, beginning in February. With my friend’s help, I created a stellar profile (if I do say so myself!) and exclaimed, “Bring on the boys!” Little did I know just how much I would learn not only about the wide world of dating, but about myself and God’s unfailing love for me.
Boys, Boys, Boys
Over the last few months, I’ve been on more dates with different guys than I ever have in my life. My only “X-ing” factor is that of God – the guy must be a active Christian whose relationship with Jesus means everything to him before I will even consider going on a date with him. Like anyone else, I have my preferences: tall (preferably over 6 feet), smart, sweet, confident (not cocky), ambitious, attractive, fit, and nice dresser. I go into each date hoping for the best, but progressively have come to expect the worst.
I now have more dating stories that have come out of the last 4 months than I expected. Just because I so enjoyed Megan’s individual dating stories, I will give a recap of a few memorable dates.
• After about 2 weeks of texting and phone calls, most of which were initiated by the guy, we met for dinner. It turned into the longest short dinner I’ve ever had as he didn’t talk to me. Seriously. There were minutes of silent while I waited for him to say something…anything. I ended up carrying the conversation by asking him questions and trying to make it less awkward. The kicker: afterward, he asked what I wanted to do next. Um, I’d like to go home.
• The next guy and I had been e-mailing ridiculously long e-mails for almost a month and we seemed to have so much in common including our favorite author, undergraduate degrees, music, views on God and passions in life. We met for twice for long dates and talked everyday for almost 2 months. Out of the blue, he stopped all communication with me without any explanation. I haven’t heard from him since.
• I noticed that a cousin of a good friend was really cute and my friend orchestrated a meeting. After one okay date, the next thing I knew he was driving 45 minutes to my town the next week to “surprise” me, told me he spent all his money on gas to get here, and then asked me to pay the bill for the evening out. Yeah, that was a surprise!
• There have been several dates where the guys were actually very nice and we had a pleasant time. I ended up telling them that it wasn’t going to work because I just didn’t feel the chemistry.
Lessons Learned
In an effort to seem less conceited than I may appear, I’m certainly not the world’s best date and I’m becoming well aware of my own flaws. I’m not the victim in these stories, but rather am growing through the experiences. I know that every story has two sides and I probably understand very little of what goes through guys’ heads, so I sincerely apologize if any of the guys are reading this and feel offended.
You can’t go through a flurry of dates without learning some important lessons. After the guy quit talking to me without any explanation, I gleaned two truths: 1) Don’t trust a guy’s words until you can trust his actions, even if this takes months and 2) Don’t ever just stop talking to someone without explanation. Even if it’s painful, I will always tell a guy if I don’t plan to see them again; I care more about the person and respect them than any momentary unease I may experience. Additionally, I reserve the right to make positive, healthy choices about who I see. I can decide whether I want to see someone again and am free to say no if I so choose. I am a worthwhile person who deserves a good guy, and won’t settle for someone just based on the fact that he shows some interest, even though it’s earned me the loving nickname of “Heartbreak Hotel” from my big brother figure ☺
God’s also used these experiences to teach me about how amazing His unfailing love is and how awesome it is that He is always faithful. No matter where He may lead me before revealing Mr. Right, He loves me and just wants me to glorify and honor Him. I have come to realize that I have so much to learn and room to grow in my relationship with Jesus right now, especially in the area of trust. Although it’s hard and sometimes painful to be the only single lady left in my entire extended family, if God wanted me to be with someone, I would be. Period. God doesn’t make mistakes and I’m learning to be thankful for all of these experiences that He’s providing me. It’s so comforting to know that I can lean on God in best and worst of times and He won’t ever change. So for now, I will focus on where God is leading me in other areas of my life and know that everything will happen in His perfect timing.
We’re all in different places in our romantic relationships, but those relationships are constantly growing and evolving. I hope I never stop learning more about others, God, and myself. What have you been learning lately?
Information for this book can be found at: www.megancarson.com
It’s not as if she’s just waiting around for Prince Charming to come riding up to her door after searching the countryside far and wide. She accepts reasonable set-ups from her family, friends, co-workers and the like. A few months ago, she’s even signed up for a dating service. That’s when the story of life as a single lady becomes interesting (and you begin to hear Beyonce blaring from her apartment).
Welcome to My Life
My third book was “A Year of Blind Dates: a single girl’s search for ‘the one.’” It’s exactly like it sounds: Megan Carson is a single Christian lady in her late twenties who decides to sign up for the “World’s Best Dating Service” in hopes of meeting Mr. Right. She records her year of blind dates, both from the dating service and other set-ups from her social circle. Some of the dates were good, some were bad, and some made me laugh out loud (though at the time I’m pretty sure Megan wanted to escape through the nearest exit).
I’ve officially been putting my inspiration from “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” to work and this year so far have been doing things I never thought I could/would do. After completing the book and some encouragement from a friend who met her husband via eHarmony, I took a deep breath and signed up for 3 months of eHarmony, beginning in February. With my friend’s help, I created a stellar profile (if I do say so myself!) and exclaimed, “Bring on the boys!” Little did I know just how much I would learn not only about the wide world of dating, but about myself and God’s unfailing love for me.
Boys, Boys, Boys
Over the last few months, I’ve been on more dates with different guys than I ever have in my life. My only “X-ing” factor is that of God – the guy must be a active Christian whose relationship with Jesus means everything to him before I will even consider going on a date with him. Like anyone else, I have my preferences: tall (preferably over 6 feet), smart, sweet, confident (not cocky), ambitious, attractive, fit, and nice dresser. I go into each date hoping for the best, but progressively have come to expect the worst.
I now have more dating stories that have come out of the last 4 months than I expected. Just because I so enjoyed Megan’s individual dating stories, I will give a recap of a few memorable dates.
• After about 2 weeks of texting and phone calls, most of which were initiated by the guy, we met for dinner. It turned into the longest short dinner I’ve ever had as he didn’t talk to me. Seriously. There were minutes of silent while I waited for him to say something…anything. I ended up carrying the conversation by asking him questions and trying to make it less awkward. The kicker: afterward, he asked what I wanted to do next. Um, I’d like to go home.
• The next guy and I had been e-mailing ridiculously long e-mails for almost a month and we seemed to have so much in common including our favorite author, undergraduate degrees, music, views on God and passions in life. We met for twice for long dates and talked everyday for almost 2 months. Out of the blue, he stopped all communication with me without any explanation. I haven’t heard from him since.
• I noticed that a cousin of a good friend was really cute and my friend orchestrated a meeting. After one okay date, the next thing I knew he was driving 45 minutes to my town the next week to “surprise” me, told me he spent all his money on gas to get here, and then asked me to pay the bill for the evening out. Yeah, that was a surprise!
• There have been several dates where the guys were actually very nice and we had a pleasant time. I ended up telling them that it wasn’t going to work because I just didn’t feel the chemistry.
Lessons Learned
In an effort to seem less conceited than I may appear, I’m certainly not the world’s best date and I’m becoming well aware of my own flaws. I’m not the victim in these stories, but rather am growing through the experiences. I know that every story has two sides and I probably understand very little of what goes through guys’ heads, so I sincerely apologize if any of the guys are reading this and feel offended.
You can’t go through a flurry of dates without learning some important lessons. After the guy quit talking to me without any explanation, I gleaned two truths: 1) Don’t trust a guy’s words until you can trust his actions, even if this takes months and 2) Don’t ever just stop talking to someone without explanation. Even if it’s painful, I will always tell a guy if I don’t plan to see them again; I care more about the person and respect them than any momentary unease I may experience. Additionally, I reserve the right to make positive, healthy choices about who I see. I can decide whether I want to see someone again and am free to say no if I so choose. I am a worthwhile person who deserves a good guy, and won’t settle for someone just based on the fact that he shows some interest, even though it’s earned me the loving nickname of “Heartbreak Hotel” from my big brother figure ☺
God’s also used these experiences to teach me about how amazing His unfailing love is and how awesome it is that He is always faithful. No matter where He may lead me before revealing Mr. Right, He loves me and just wants me to glorify and honor Him. I have come to realize that I have so much to learn and room to grow in my relationship with Jesus right now, especially in the area of trust. Although it’s hard and sometimes painful to be the only single lady left in my entire extended family, if God wanted me to be with someone, I would be. Period. God doesn’t make mistakes and I’m learning to be thankful for all of these experiences that He’s providing me. It’s so comforting to know that I can lean on God in best and worst of times and He won’t ever change. So for now, I will focus on where God is leading me in other areas of my life and know that everything will happen in His perfect timing.
We’re all in different places in our romantic relationships, but those relationships are constantly growing and evolving. I hope I never stop learning more about others, God, and myself. What have you been learning lately?
Information for this book can be found at: www.megancarson.com
Friday, May 14, 2010
Captivating
Hello blog! I'm sorry I've neglected you for the last few months, but I've still been reading and have quite a few books to talk with you about. After I had completed "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years," I wanted to boost my self-esteem a bit in anticipation of the great things I had planned from Don's inspirational story. One book all of my Christian girlfriends had mentioned they loved and learned so much from is "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge so I thought I'd give it a try for book #2.
What Every Girl Wants
Every girl I know wants to be loved in one way or another; romantic love with a man, friendship love with a girlfriend, familial love with those close to you. The need to belong is innate and I know that I would be lost without those closest to me. In this fallen world, however, it is entirely too easy to become distracted by the cheapened love the world offers us instead of running into the arms of the God who loves us more than we can possibly fathom. The message of how passionately God pursues us and heart-wrenchingly waits for us is beautifully woven in the pages. I've heard youth pastors propose the idea of "dating" Jesus; the whole concept is about spending time with Him to fall in love with the one who loves you the most. Until reading this book, I never really understood that (personally I found the idea of dating Jesus to be weird and a little creepy). Yes, I know Jesus loves me... "the Bible tells me so." But the extent of His love for me became very real once I began to really think about what I was reading.
God Isn't a Whore and Neither Am I
"He says, 'You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart,' (Jer. 29:13). There is dignity here; God does not throw himself at any passerby. He is no harlot. If you would know him you must love him; you must seek him with your whole heart. This is crucial to any woman's soul, not to mention her sexuality. 'You cannot simply have me. You must seek me, pursue me. I won't let you in unless I know you love me.'"
This short excerpt immediately caught my attention and convicted me on several different levels. First, my God always stands up straight with dignity and no one can possibly take that away. The love He offers is free but He isn't; to know God, to really know God, is to seek Him with your entire heart, mind and soul. Admittedly I do not pursue God with a fraction of the passion with which He pursues me. Too often do I just say a quick prayer of thanks for a good day, family/friends and please arrange for a good next day with some other request on the side.
Secondly, this whole idea of seeking passionately after God is one that excites and scares me. It thrills me to think that God actually wants me of all people to love Him. The God who painted sunrises, spoke the stars into existence, and parts seas - that God wants my attention?? This is incredibly humbling because in the grand scheme of things, I'm no one; just a girl who's reading 42 books. A quote from a later chapter says it perfectly: "You are meant to fill a place in the heart of God no one and nothing else can fill." It's scary, though, because if I'm not actively seeking after His heart, He's not going to just give it to me and I will miss out on so much.
Lastly, this has hugely impacting personal application to my life. I love the last bit: 'You cannot simply have me. You must seek me, pursue me. I won't let you in unless I know you love me.' Recently I learned the hard way that I cannot trust someone's words until I can trust their actions first. This concept of being choosy about who you let in is so important; God is continually showing me that I'm worth pursuing in a romantic relationship and if the guy won't step up, then he's not worth my time because I'm worth more than that.
Romanced by Jesus
I've had one boyfriend and although it's been almost 2 years since we broke up, I have to admit that he was great at romancing me. He had creative date ideas, said sweet things, and did little things he knew I would love. As wonderful as it was, however, Jesus is infinitely better at romancing because He knows me better than my ex did, better than I know myself; "He knows what takes your breath away, knows what makes your heart beat faster."
One of the authors asks an intriguing question: "Jesus, how are you romancing me now?" What things do you see around you that are Jesus' way of saying, "I love you and this how I'm showing my love for you"? One of the ways Jesus romances me is the opportunity to sit on my porch in the sun and read a book about Him. Another way is the chills I feel during a song that speaks straight to my heart, knowing that the song is a direct gift from Him at that moment.
Perhaps most importantly, Jesus is teaching me that He's all I need, period. It's not easy being the only single girl in my entire extended family or feeling like all the "good ones" are going to be taken before I find one. However, that's not where my focus should be; rather, "following hard after Jesus is the heart's natural response when it has been captured and has fallen deeply in love with him." Furthermore, Jesus is showing me that my worth and validation as a woman is not contingent upon my having a significant other, but I am instead validated only through Him. "Our core validation, our primary validation has to come from God. And until it does, until we look to him for the healing of our souls, our relationships are really hurt by this looking-to-each-other for something only God can give."
Who Has Your Heart?
"This wild God of mine, who knows my every thought and intention, who sees my every failure and sin, loves me." The only way to become the godly, captivating woman God created me to be is to fall in love with Him and walk daily with Him, and, honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. God isn't one to play games, and I have confidence that He's never going to break my heart, in spite of how many times I break His. Jesus wants to be my best friend, my God, and my lover. I know who has my heart; who has yours?
(Information for this book can be found at: http://www.familychristian.com/shop/product.asp?ProdID=11755)
What Every Girl Wants
Every girl I know wants to be loved in one way or another; romantic love with a man, friendship love with a girlfriend, familial love with those close to you. The need to belong is innate and I know that I would be lost without those closest to me. In this fallen world, however, it is entirely too easy to become distracted by the cheapened love the world offers us instead of running into the arms of the God who loves us more than we can possibly fathom. The message of how passionately God pursues us and heart-wrenchingly waits for us is beautifully woven in the pages. I've heard youth pastors propose the idea of "dating" Jesus; the whole concept is about spending time with Him to fall in love with the one who loves you the most. Until reading this book, I never really understood that (personally I found the idea of dating Jesus to be weird and a little creepy). Yes, I know Jesus loves me... "the Bible tells me so." But the extent of His love for me became very real once I began to really think about what I was reading.
God Isn't a Whore and Neither Am I
"He says, 'You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart,' (Jer. 29:13). There is dignity here; God does not throw himself at any passerby. He is no harlot. If you would know him you must love him; you must seek him with your whole heart. This is crucial to any woman's soul, not to mention her sexuality. 'You cannot simply have me. You must seek me, pursue me. I won't let you in unless I know you love me.'"
This short excerpt immediately caught my attention and convicted me on several different levels. First, my God always stands up straight with dignity and no one can possibly take that away. The love He offers is free but He isn't; to know God, to really know God, is to seek Him with your entire heart, mind and soul. Admittedly I do not pursue God with a fraction of the passion with which He pursues me. Too often do I just say a quick prayer of thanks for a good day, family/friends and please arrange for a good next day with some other request on the side.
Secondly, this whole idea of seeking passionately after God is one that excites and scares me. It thrills me to think that God actually wants me of all people to love Him. The God who painted sunrises, spoke the stars into existence, and parts seas - that God wants my attention?? This is incredibly humbling because in the grand scheme of things, I'm no one; just a girl who's reading 42 books. A quote from a later chapter says it perfectly: "You are meant to fill a place in the heart of God no one and nothing else can fill." It's scary, though, because if I'm not actively seeking after His heart, He's not going to just give it to me and I will miss out on so much.
Lastly, this has hugely impacting personal application to my life. I love the last bit: 'You cannot simply have me. You must seek me, pursue me. I won't let you in unless I know you love me.' Recently I learned the hard way that I cannot trust someone's words until I can trust their actions first. This concept of being choosy about who you let in is so important; God is continually showing me that I'm worth pursuing in a romantic relationship and if the guy won't step up, then he's not worth my time because I'm worth more than that.
Romanced by Jesus
I've had one boyfriend and although it's been almost 2 years since we broke up, I have to admit that he was great at romancing me. He had creative date ideas, said sweet things, and did little things he knew I would love. As wonderful as it was, however, Jesus is infinitely better at romancing because He knows me better than my ex did, better than I know myself; "He knows what takes your breath away, knows what makes your heart beat faster."
One of the authors asks an intriguing question: "Jesus, how are you romancing me now?" What things do you see around you that are Jesus' way of saying, "I love you and this how I'm showing my love for you"? One of the ways Jesus romances me is the opportunity to sit on my porch in the sun and read a book about Him. Another way is the chills I feel during a song that speaks straight to my heart, knowing that the song is a direct gift from Him at that moment.
Perhaps most importantly, Jesus is teaching me that He's all I need, period. It's not easy being the only single girl in my entire extended family or feeling like all the "good ones" are going to be taken before I find one. However, that's not where my focus should be; rather, "following hard after Jesus is the heart's natural response when it has been captured and has fallen deeply in love with him." Furthermore, Jesus is showing me that my worth and validation as a woman is not contingent upon my having a significant other, but I am instead validated only through Him. "Our core validation, our primary validation has to come from God. And until it does, until we look to him for the healing of our souls, our relationships are really hurt by this looking-to-each-other for something only God can give."
Who Has Your Heart?
"This wild God of mine, who knows my every thought and intention, who sees my every failure and sin, loves me." The only way to become the godly, captivating woman God created me to be is to fall in love with Him and walk daily with Him, and, honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. God isn't one to play games, and I have confidence that He's never going to break my heart, in spite of how many times I break His. Jesus wants to be my best friend, my God, and my lover. I know who has my heart; who has yours?
(Information for this book can be found at: http://www.familychristian.com/shop/product.asp?ProdID=11755)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
What's Your Good Story?
Stories & Words
I'm a reader. And a writer. Kinda. I consider a rainy day (or now living in Iowa, a snowy day) best spent curled up in my overstuffed chair, classical music playing in the background, coffee in one hand, and a book in other. Books can let your imagination take you places that movies cannot, paint the pictures of scenery that no movie set would do justice, and draw the faces of the characters to whom not even my old-man crush George Clooney could compare. There are countless books, each written with a purpose, each with holding captive a story that is crying out to be told, if you would just give it a chance.
For as long as I can remember, I've also loved words. The English language has so many different words and although some are very similar and convey a general message (i.e. happy, joy, ecstatic, elated), they all represent something a little different. Just a change from the word "happy" to "ecstatic" can change the magnitude of the emotion. This has always fascinated me and challenged me to pick good words for my stories.
A Good Story
In my journey over this coming year to read 42 books as a supplementary way to discover God's heart through others' experiences and stories, the best way to begin was a book called "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. Don is one of my all-time favorite authors; he has such a talent for using his experiences to convey simple truths that God can't wait for us humans to discover.
In A Million Miles, Don has the opportunity to work with 2 screenwriters to turn his book "Blue Like Jazz" into a movie script. Although this book is a great book, the writers claim that the it needs to be more exciting and dynamic to be a great movie. While Don sets out to edit his previously-documented life to make it more exciting, he discovers the importance of proactively creating a "good story" in the present moment.
To set his new life-plan into motion, Don created "inciting incidents," events that made him walk through a doorway through which he could not return. A slightly overweight Don begins to get into shape once he locks himself into hiking the Inca Trail in Peru. He starts to date a girl, which is a huge deal for this guy. Don slowly takes steps that force him to meet his estranged father who abandoned his family when Don was just a boy. Although these situations force Don to be uncomfortable and afraid, he puts it best saying: "But fear isn't only a guide to keep us safe; it's also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life."
Sacrifice > Winning
In some of his stories, Don wins. He successfully conquers not only the Inca Trail, but then a group bike ride from LA to Washington DC. With the help of the screenwriters, they complete the screenplay of his book (although admittedly I'm slightly apprehensive to see the movie on account of how much I loved the book; books always ruin movies for me). Don meets his father and the interaction is a positive step in healing process for both father and son.
It's comforting to know that just as some of my stories don't have the happy ending I desire, neither does Don's. Things with the girl do not work out for a variety of reasons and as a single person myself, I can relate to the pain that this inflicts on Don's life. However, Don realizes that winning isn't necessarily everything: "It wasn't necessary to win for the story to be great, it was only necessary to sacrifice everything."
Trials & Hope
While most of us try to write our own good stories, the fallen world around us tends to thwart our attempts. Even "good Christians" get pushed off our bikes by the neighborhood bully who knows us much better than we would like to think. Some may question why people who are daily running to God with their joys and trials and who trying to live out good Christian lives keep falling suspect to Satan's attempts to keep us from living the life God wants for us. Don explains this as:
"To be sure, I like Jesus and I still follow him, but the idea that Jesus will make everything better is a lie. It's basically biblical theology translated into the language of infomercials. The truth is, the apostles never really promise Jesus is going to make everything better here on earth." However, what Jesus does promise is hope: "Jesus is the hope that will not disappoint."
Making My Own Good Story
I don't know where you are in your story, but after reading about Don's quest to make his life a better story, I felt compelled to do the same. Although I received great genes and have always been a thin girl, I recently realized that unless I get my 23 year-old rear in gear, my body will not look like this for long. Additionally, I found out that I'm going to Hawaii for the first time this summer and although I loved my one prior surfing experience, my little chicken arms and legs aren't going to help me when I'm trying to paddle to save my life. I've started work out for the first time and have signed my lazy rear up for 2 classes a week that I have friends in - nothing more motivating than disappointing a friend if I don't show up because I was too busy eating popcorn on my couch while watching a show about gnarly surfers. I am participating in 3 Bible studies that each propel me to grow closer to my God and Savior in a different way. I have embraced this crazy challenge of reading and completing a new book nearly every 9 days to gain 42 new views on God and His incredible plan for my life.
One of the best lines in A Million Miles is this: "The ambitions we have will become the stories we live." So I ask not only myself, but you as well - what are your ambitions? Are they your simple ideas of what you think might be fun for the time being? Or are they dreams that will fuel your life for the awesome story that God has authored just for you?
(Information for this book can be found at: http://donmilleris.com/books/)
I'm a reader. And a writer. Kinda. I consider a rainy day (or now living in Iowa, a snowy day) best spent curled up in my overstuffed chair, classical music playing in the background, coffee in one hand, and a book in other. Books can let your imagination take you places that movies cannot, paint the pictures of scenery that no movie set would do justice, and draw the faces of the characters to whom not even my old-man crush George Clooney could compare. There are countless books, each written with a purpose, each with holding captive a story that is crying out to be told, if you would just give it a chance.
For as long as I can remember, I've also loved words. The English language has so many different words and although some are very similar and convey a general message (i.e. happy, joy, ecstatic, elated), they all represent something a little different. Just a change from the word "happy" to "ecstatic" can change the magnitude of the emotion. This has always fascinated me and challenged me to pick good words for my stories.
A Good Story
In my journey over this coming year to read 42 books as a supplementary way to discover God's heart through others' experiences and stories, the best way to begin was a book called "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. Don is one of my all-time favorite authors; he has such a talent for using his experiences to convey simple truths that God can't wait for us humans to discover.
In A Million Miles, Don has the opportunity to work with 2 screenwriters to turn his book "Blue Like Jazz" into a movie script. Although this book is a great book, the writers claim that the it needs to be more exciting and dynamic to be a great movie. While Don sets out to edit his previously-documented life to make it more exciting, he discovers the importance of proactively creating a "good story" in the present moment.
To set his new life-plan into motion, Don created "inciting incidents," events that made him walk through a doorway through which he could not return. A slightly overweight Don begins to get into shape once he locks himself into hiking the Inca Trail in Peru. He starts to date a girl, which is a huge deal for this guy. Don slowly takes steps that force him to meet his estranged father who abandoned his family when Don was just a boy. Although these situations force Don to be uncomfortable and afraid, he puts it best saying: "But fear isn't only a guide to keep us safe; it's also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life."
Sacrifice > Winning
In some of his stories, Don wins. He successfully conquers not only the Inca Trail, but then a group bike ride from LA to Washington DC. With the help of the screenwriters, they complete the screenplay of his book (although admittedly I'm slightly apprehensive to see the movie on account of how much I loved the book; books always ruin movies for me). Don meets his father and the interaction is a positive step in healing process for both father and son.
It's comforting to know that just as some of my stories don't have the happy ending I desire, neither does Don's. Things with the girl do not work out for a variety of reasons and as a single person myself, I can relate to the pain that this inflicts on Don's life. However, Don realizes that winning isn't necessarily everything: "It wasn't necessary to win for the story to be great, it was only necessary to sacrifice everything."
Trials & Hope
While most of us try to write our own good stories, the fallen world around us tends to thwart our attempts. Even "good Christians" get pushed off our bikes by the neighborhood bully who knows us much better than we would like to think. Some may question why people who are daily running to God with their joys and trials and who trying to live out good Christian lives keep falling suspect to Satan's attempts to keep us from living the life God wants for us. Don explains this as:
"To be sure, I like Jesus and I still follow him, but the idea that Jesus will make everything better is a lie. It's basically biblical theology translated into the language of infomercials. The truth is, the apostles never really promise Jesus is going to make everything better here on earth." However, what Jesus does promise is hope: "Jesus is the hope that will not disappoint."
Making My Own Good Story
I don't know where you are in your story, but after reading about Don's quest to make his life a better story, I felt compelled to do the same. Although I received great genes and have always been a thin girl, I recently realized that unless I get my 23 year-old rear in gear, my body will not look like this for long. Additionally, I found out that I'm going to Hawaii for the first time this summer and although I loved my one prior surfing experience, my little chicken arms and legs aren't going to help me when I'm trying to paddle to save my life. I've started work out for the first time and have signed my lazy rear up for 2 classes a week that I have friends in - nothing more motivating than disappointing a friend if I don't show up because I was too busy eating popcorn on my couch while watching a show about gnarly surfers. I am participating in 3 Bible studies that each propel me to grow closer to my God and Savior in a different way. I have embraced this crazy challenge of reading and completing a new book nearly every 9 days to gain 42 new views on God and His incredible plan for my life.
One of the best lines in A Million Miles is this: "The ambitions we have will become the stories we live." So I ask not only myself, but you as well - what are your ambitions? Are they your simple ideas of what you think might be fun for the time being? Or are they dreams that will fuel your life for the awesome story that God has authored just for you?
(Information for this book can be found at: http://donmilleris.com/books/)
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